i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
