erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
