Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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