You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
