We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
