i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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