True but thats because hes a fetus.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
