I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
