That's when you crack a 10am beer
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
