dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
