party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
