I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
