y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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