Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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