hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize