Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
