As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
