The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
this will be a night to untag.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize