people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do vagina's smell?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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