Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?

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(786): View more from Florida

Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...

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(678): View more from Georgia

You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater

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(847): View more from Illinois

Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.

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(705): View more from Ontario

You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.

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