Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
