I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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