She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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