considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
