I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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