that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
