he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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