One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
