Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
