I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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