His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
