meet me or not, i'm out of control
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
