My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
