I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
