hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
