What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
