This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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