and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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