the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
