I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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