Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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