it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
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