My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
