You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
