Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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