12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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