Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
