i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
