being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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