i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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